Cool Bunny

As I approach the ripe old age of sixty (not there yet, but it's close enough to think about.....) I find myself experiencing an unusual degree of existential angst.    I've never been bothered or concerned as other milestone birthdays pass, but this one is definitely different.

There's the sense of time closing in, the awareness that one has probably lived more than half of one's adult life.   There's the feeling that there's so much more one would want to do, to accomplish.....and so much less time left in which to accomplish it.   I find myself measuring myself against my peers.....both those who are friends and family, and those who simply share my age.  

 I don't know if I come up wanting.   In some respects, no doubt, I do.   I've got projects I've never finished, books I'd still like to write.   I haven't served on a lot of committees or public service organizations.   But I'm not really sure that these are necessarily the things that matter.   Perhaps the fact that I've got good friends, I've been as generous as possible to good causes, and I've moved through this world doing a minimum of harm matters more.

The angst is there, and I suspect it will continue at least until I actually turn sixty.....and perhaps well beyond.   But I do know one thing.    Turning sixty will still beat the hell out of the alternative.

 dtf